Blog about your mission and  the two other heroes you meet in the strange new world you have all been summoned to.
SCROLL down and CLICK on COMMENTS to write your story and to READ other people's blog posts.
  • What is your name and age? 
  • Where are you from?
  • How were you summoned across to this magical world? 
  • Who are the other two heroes you meet there?
  • What is the name of your guide?
  • What is your mission?

YOUR COMMENT WILL APPEAR HERE THE DAY AFTER YOU WRITE IT.
 


Emily
08/06/2013 3:01am

Hi, my name is Brooke. I am 13 years old. I come from Western Sydney. My personality is the same as any other 13 year old girl...but my friends call me a bit silly. My appearance is pretty normal. I'm tall and I have black hair.

This all began about a week ago. I was sitting in my room watching a movie. Then all of a sudden I heard voice in my closet crying for help. I walked in to see who it was. I didn't even get a glimpse at it before it took me away. It grabbed me before I had a chance to yell stop! I was summoned to another land. It was very dark - it might happen to be a forest but I was not focused on where I was. I was just wondering what would happen. It was that scary that I started to hear the voice calling for help. Again, my whole body was shaking like an earthquake and I had to admit that I thought I was lost.

Then, when daylight came I saw two other girls. One of them had black hair & brown eyes and was quite tall. The other girl had blonde hair, blue eyes and was tall as well.

The girl with the blonde hair spoke first. "Who are you? My name is Hayley and this is my sister Jessica - we were both walking home from school - then all of a sudden the street lights blacked out and when they turned back on we were here."
"Hi, my name is Brooke - I am so glad more people are here. I was so scared last night," I said.

"Ok so this place is not so scary anymore"Jessica said . Jessica looks gothic but I guess she might brighten up . Hayley's looks pretty girly and seems really scared . Jessica just looks like she's really mad .

Okay, so Hayley, Jessica and I were just trying to find our way out of here. Out of the blue, something just ran out of the bushes and jumped into a tree. We all ran as fast as we could, but it stopped us. It was a girl with purple wings and black hair. She said, "I was the one who summoned you!" Then she just disappeared.

We were looking for the girl with purple wings and black hair. Then she turned up again and said,"And I forgot to tell you a couple of things. This place is called Emcalia and there is an evil ruler here. His name is Stical and he has a ring that he takes off every night but when he puts it back on in the morning it gives him more power. Anyone who tries to speak up to him gets turned to stone and put into a stone museum with everyone else who has tried to speak up against him."

"Okay - so I think we all now know that Stical cannot be defeated by just one of us. We will all need to work together to try and get the ring," I said.

Reply
08/15/2013 4:03am

Hey Brooke,

You have such a clear, bright writing style. I enjoyed the pace and the action of your story and you have used dialogue perfectly to help us get to know your characters. I think this is a really exciting piece and I'd love to read more.
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
08/16/2013 12:10am

Hi Emily.

I really enjoyed your piece. There are lots of different elements to it that create a wonderful sense of intrigue and mystery. It also has a strong voice which can be very hard to achieve in a story, but you have done it nicely.
Happy writing.
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Isaac
08/06/2013 3:26am

I am Ryan, an averagely sized brunette boy. I live in Sydney and I am an orphan – I am living with my grandparents. My grandmother is fragile and stays inside often. My grandfather is fit and healthy – he transports me to places like school. I have one friend – his name is Gabe, a short blonde kid, about my age (12 years). I was walking in my local park one day – this is where my story begins.

Gabe and I were playing on the swings. I fell off one and decided to stop playing on them. We then walked over to the to the spinning wheel that we both hopped on. I stepped on one part of the wheel that strangely shifted. Gabe started to push us around and around. I suddenly realized I was fading (so was Gabe) – the faster we spun, the more we faded. Our bodies started to reappear, but in a different place, a different world. I walked around for a while, looking at the strange orange grass. I decided to look up.

We were in the clearing of a rainforest. The air was moist and the plants were bright green. Gabe was about to touch a plant when I reminded him that we were in a different world. Another person started to appear, a young girl, about 9. A vine started weaving through the trees, it was holding a boy that looked about my age.

“Who are you?” the boy asked “Look, I know we are all a bit shocked – so let’s go around in a circle. In fact, I’ll go first. OK, I’m Harry and I’m 12> Now it’s your turn,” he said, pointing to the little girl who was in tears.
“Um, I’m Sophia and I’m 8,” she said.
“OK, I guess it’s my turn, I’m Gabe and I’m 12” said Gabe.
“And I’m Ryan, I’m also 12,” I said.

A girl suddenly jumped out of a tree, “I’m Cathline and I’m 14,” she said, laughing.
“I dunno about you but I think we should go and get the essentials of survival,” Cathline said.
“Right, OK, Cathline, you gather food, I’ll get firewood. Ryan, you get water and, Gabe, you can take care of Sophia,” said Harry.

After a while, we all returned for a well-earned dinner: roast deer and fruit. We all had a good sleep in our small tents made of deerskin. In the morning, I woke to find that all of our supplies had disappeared. I decided to go and get some more. So I picked up my backpack and a leather sack, then started to walk into the jungle. I started to hear sounds and twigs snap. Then I saw it – the most horrible face: pale, horned, cloaked and when it opened its mouth the most terrifying teeth. It started to run, I followed. It dropped something, at first I didn’t know what but then I realized as I tripped over it and fell into a cactus-like bush. I put my hand on my face that was horribly grazed and flooding with blood. It looked directly at me for a second but then ran off.

I woke to find myself in a bed, with Sophia and Gabe anxiously waiting. A few days passed, but on the fifth day something strange happened. A white figure appeared and said, “I am Strathiaka.”
“Kill it!” Harry shouted. Both him and Cathline morphed into those horrible beasts I had seen earlier. I picked up a knife and stabbed what was once Harry. He screeched and fled. The man had disappeared but left a map with where we were and where we would go.

Eventually we got there. A tree house was right in front of us. We entered it to find the man sitting there. He looked about 25 years old, wore robes and a cloak.

“This world is under a world that is as dark as evil can be. You must defeat this evil Lord by removing his crown,” he said.
“Why us?” Gabe asked, but the man was gone. Four masked warriors suddenly jumped down from the ceiling and a heavily armoured man entered the room and said, “Take them to the Master.” Then everything went black…

Reply
08/16/2013 12:15am

Hi Isaac,

Wow!!! This is great. Is this a story you have worked on before or just for this blog? It feels as if you have put a lot of thought into it. I really enjoyed your character description and would love at some point to meet the grandfather...he sounds especially interesting. Please keep writing.
Happy writing.
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
ANONYMOUS
08/06/2013 4:00am

A lot of my story may seem incredibly unbelievable. But to me it is very true. I was just an ordinary school girl at the age of 16. My name is Skye Davies. Saying that I am ordinary means really ordinary, average height, brown hair, brown eyes. I love to spend time with my friends and go to parties. I also love to go on adventures, adventures that go for a long time. Most of that has all changed. As I said, this story seems incredibly unbelievable, but true.
It all started at 7:00pm 3months ago. I was taking the recycling bin to the road so it could get emptied the next morning. When I got to the road and put the bin it its place, suddenly the street lamp blew. Sparks flew. I then heard my name being called in a high pitched, croaky voice. I was very suspicious it was coming from around the corner. I crept over. I was nervous because I saw a bright red light. The light turned off and I couldn’t see a thing. I didn’t know where I was.
All at once, the lights came back on. I arrived in a strange, new, mystical land. I was very shocked and I was trying to focus on what had just happened. I some how had landed under an arched bridge located in a beautiful forest. The forest had lush green grass, beautiful creatures roaming around. It also had a weird path. I felt really curious, my body shivered. I didn’t know where the path was going to take me if I followed it, but I was surely game enough to find out.
When I got to the end of the path, I found two girls with foley hair. One with strawberry red hair and the other with glossy black. They were bickering about GOD only knows what. They finally noticed that I was standing before them.
“Who are you ?” Asked the girl with black hair. “Where did you come from?”
She asked. My name is Skye. I mumbled in a low voice. They stared upon me. Who are they I thought to myself…
I stood there in silence. The two girls announced their names. The girl with strawberry coloured hair said, ” My name is Emily, this is my sister Tara. We were summoned here about a month ago. How did you get here?”
” I don’t know. I replied. ” One minute I was putting the bins out on the road and then the street lamp blew and I couldn’t see anything.”
” Oh thats very simple.” Tara said. ” Me and Emily were just walking near the lake in Werrington, then everything went to a blur. We don’t remember anything after that.” She said.
We talked for an bit. I shared my past few hours in this strange land. Tara looked pretty in a way that she was a hunter. The word I describe her with with is ‘tough’. Emily was pretty too. She looked more elegant with some strength. I am the kind of person who wants to know everything about everyone. I was hoping to become the best of friends with these two young girls.
All of a sudden there was a loud rustling in the bushes behind us. The bushes stood tall and wide so we couldn’t see the thing that was rustling. OUT jumped a female unicorn. She bowed in respect. Being 16 years old, I didn’t think unicorns existed. But in this land I can clearly see that they are not just are made up fairy tale told to infants. The unicorn started spitting out words in a sweet, calm voice. The three of us gasped in shock while she was explaining that she was the one who summoned us.
The unicorn introduced herself saying her name was Pixel. It turned out that the new land we were called to was called Delphia. Pixel said that Delphia is being taken over by an evil queen named Veronica. She has kidnapped all the towns people and made them slaves. Apparently she treats them like they are feral animals. Veronica gains her power by commanding her slaves to go to the mines and come back with a special gem. She horribly eats this gem and Pixel said that it was our job now to set the slaves free, in order to strain the power out of Veronica and make her weak.
“All we know, is that Queen Veronica cannot be conquered single handed by just one hero. A band of heroes will be needed to break her hold on our precious land, Delphia. Our predictions have proved us right. Summoning three strangers to help was the right thing to do. We need you to vanquish the wicked ruler and bring peace to our beloved land once more.”

Reply
08/17/2013 6:25pm

Hi,

I enjoyed this piece right from the enticing opening warning that the reader may not believe it. Yay! Excellent. I enjoyed the pieces of dialogue too...dialogue is a great way to not only tell us what is happen but let us about your characters too. Nice work.

Happy writing.
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Dan
08/06/2013 4:10am

Hi my name is DJ and I’m 15 years old. I live in Hawaii. I have a younger brother and I enjoy doing karate and playing games. I’m an average guy. I have short black hair and I’m pretty tall. I’m a little naughty. The story I’m about to tell you I wouldn’t believe myself, but its true.

It all started when I was going to bed one night. It was late and I was almost asleep but then I heard a beeping noise under my bed. It grew louder and louder. I just had to know what it was. So I got up and looked under my bed. It was a bright green suitcase. I opened it and saw a big red button, so I pushed it.

Then bang !!! I was in shock. There were tall trees all around me. My heart was pounding and my body was shaking. I looked around and saw a small cave so I headed that way.

When I arrived at the cave, there were two people inside. One was a young girl. She had bright flowing green hair. She was wearing elf like clothes and had a bow and arrow on her back. The other one was a young boy. He had Snow White hair and wizard like clothes. He had a staff.

The girl spoke first. She said,”Who are you?”
“Who are YOU?” I replied.
She explained, “I was on my way to a comicon, when boom, I was here”.
The boy told, “I was on my way to a fancy dress party, when I saw a purple light, then I was here. By the way I’m Tom. What’s your name?”

We talked for a while, sharing our thoughts and finding out a little more about each other. The girl’s name was Sky and she was girly, very girly – but I could see darkness in her eyes. Tom seemed tough. The sort of guy who goes to the gym a lot – but talked very softly.

All of a sudden, shooting stars flew across the sky, then BOOM!!!!There was a small flying thing in the air. The thing did a small bow and told us she was the one who had summoned us.

It turned out the land we were in was called Lemuria and it was ruled by an evil queen called Eris. She freezes all people who go against her word. She gains her strength by draining power from the lava heart gem which sits on a stool in her palace.

“What we know, is that Eris cannot be defeated by one person. A band of heroes will be needed to break her horrible grip on Lemuria. My lord told me to summon you here, to bring happiness once more to our land,” mumbled Winter, the fairy thing.

Reply
08/17/2013 6:29pm

Hi DJ,

Great work so far. Nice work getting these kids together...now we just need to see their personalities a little more. One way to do this is through dialogue....that way we can get glimpses into what they're like as well as what is going to happen, which I'm very curious to find out.
Happy writing.
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Alexander
08/06/2013 6:06am

Hi, my name is Razor I’m a 12 year old boy. I don’t know how I got on this frozen icy island – all I know is to hunt, kill, cook, eat and sleep. My interests are hunting, killing, setting traps and skinning animals. I wear a red and black jacket, & long black pants. I have shortish dark blond hair and ear muffs to keep my ears warm. I’m about to tell you a story you will not believe.

It all started five months ago, when I was hunting a bear for lunch. It ran into a cave that I’d never seen before. But I still kept going and speared it in the cave. I started hearing voices saying, “Yemen el,detora akman ra,” so I said it too and BAAAMM!
I opened my eyes and everything was pitch white. The voices started saying, “Walk into the light, go forward”

So I did. All the colour came back and I saw blazing forests and crumbling towers. It was exciting and I was also scared, “where am I?”

Then I saw an elfish figure appear. He had black hair, piercing blue eyes and two daggers on a belt on his waist.
Then a second unusual figure appeared. He was covered in armour. He didn’t speak. He just puffed smoke out, of his helmet’s mouth piece.

The first elf spoke:
“I’m Oan, the second son to the throne.”
“Nice to meet you.” Oan smiled. The armoured figure still kept puffing.
“O, don’t mind him, he is a bit temperamental,” Oan grinned.

We started talking even more. I started to get scared and ran for the forest. Then Oan said:
“I wouldn’t go in that forest, especially without weapons.”
The armoured figure laughed.

“So you’re not going to kill me,” I whimpered.
“No, of course not,” Oan laughed.
The armoured figure started to speak:”I’m Takaani. I’m Oan’s protector. Nice to meet you,” he laughed.

We heard a crack of lightning, then, BOOM! – a dark figure appeared. He started getting closer. He said:
“I’m the one that summoned you, Razor, and I’m also the one who called you in your dream, Oan,” he boomed.

It turned out that the land was called the Aether and it was ruled by a evil ghost called Pewdepie. “He steals gold and people’s riches. He burns lands and destroys towers – and worst of all he awakens dragons from their slumber. He also gets his strength from one of the twin chalices. He must be STOPPED! All we know is that Pewdepie must be stopped but one hero cannot stop him. You must work together to find the other twin chalice and take his power to stop him. I’m telling you, in fact, I’m asking you – you must stop Pewdepie and his evil minions.”

Reply
08/17/2013 6:32pm

Hi Alexander,

I really enjoyed this piece. You have opened with such an intriguing beginning....'I don’t know how I got on this frozen icy island – all I know is to hunt, kill, cook, eat and sleep.' I would probably even get make this the first line because it creates great tension and mystery. You are also great when at using dialogue to help us get to know your characters. Brilliant!

Happy writing.
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Tiffany
08/07/2013 8:21am

My name is Matilda, I am 17 years of age and I live in Australia. I am short and have light brown hair. Some of my interests include, karate, swimming, taking care of animals and studying.

I was very bored one day, so I thought I would go on an outing in the forest when coming from behind me was a noise. The noise was extremely different. I decided to follow this strange noise. It led me to a cave. The cave was very dark with only a few gaps in the roof to let the sunlight in. I continued to follow the unusual noise that I had never heard before, but at the same time I felt like I HAD heard it before.

I had now been travelling for about half an hour, and I had come across a bit that had moss on the walls made of stone. The moss on the walls had started to grow on the ground. Suddenly, I slipped - 'ARGHH!'
I found myself falling through some imaginative wall. There was a different dull colours around me and the strange noise was getting louder and louder, the more I fell.

I found myself on a cloud shape that felt like a giant marshmellow.

I could see a lady. She greeted me, and one of the things that she said was 'I am your guide, you have been chosen with two other people, for a mission.’

I suddenly saw these two people - we had met each other once before and their names were George and Sally. They seemed very nice.

By this time I could still hear the strange noise…

I found out that this land was called 'Planet Ice', and it was ruled by an evil ruler called Mavid Spom. He liked to steal people's belongings and make sure they were not having fun.

Reply
08/17/2013 6:35pm

Hi Tiffany,

I'm so glad you posted...I really enjoyed reading your work. I enjoyed the mystery your main character found herself in and wanted her to go forward. One thing I would like more of are descriptions of where we are and who we meet, eg the lady. Not too much, because we don't want to slow down the pace too much, just enough to start the process of creating a picture in my mind. Nice work!
Happy writing
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Hayden
08/07/2013 8:24am

My name is Chand. I'm 18 rys old and I'm an average guy. I come from Austalia and some of my interests are reading, cooking and I am very good at fighting. I have two friends named Fred and Jerry.

We decided to have an adventure on our outing in the park. The trees were so lovely. The sound of the birds tweeting and whistling was so calming. Then we saw a pile of crunchy leaves. The leaves were up to my neck. WOW! That was a high pile of leaves. So we went and jumped in it, all at once.- THEN...
We all fell hard on the ground of a new magical world. The world was different to our world, in fact, it was a lot different to ours.

Then a guy popped up out of a cloud of smoke. He said "Greetings, loved ones, I am your guide, my name is Sir Admin, you all have been chosen to save the Princess Matilda.

Your mission is to save the Princess and destroy everything in your way. You have no time to stop when you all leave. I will train all of you to defeat everything. I will be coming with you all to help lead the way."

Reply
08/17/2013 6:37pm

Hi Hayden,

This is a great post. I loved the gentle, quiet way it started. Often stories lull us into a fall sense of security, then the trouble begins....in this case, with a giant pile of leaves. I can just see those boys being tempted to jump in. Fantastic. I'd love to know what happens next.
Happy writing
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Mylyn
08/07/2013 8:29am

Hi, my name is Kyoshi, and I am 12 years old from Japan. I am a very shy girl but once you get to know me I am very outgoing. My friends call me short but my parents say I am pretty tall for an Asian. My eyes are like the colour of the bark of an oak tree. The long locks on my head are black like the colour of the night sky.

The thing that brought me to this magical land was a small bubble that had a door that I entered through. I was just having a great hike with my friends and we suddenly saw this flying UFO. I would have described this as an unidentified flying object. It was beckoning me to come to it. When I opened the door, it sucked me into a new world.
When I opened my eyes I saw two people. They said that they were my guardians in this mysterious world. I hope they will help me before I eat them. SausageBoss and MustardMinion might get together and retreat, that might be their only strength against me. Their names were SausageBoss and MustardMinion.
When I arrived in this unknown land, they handed me a samurai sword. According to my guides, my mission is to defeat the evil minion and her ruler. The name of my guide is Dakota. Dakota's face is very welcoming compared to other "people" in this land. The ruler has a powerful minion that is half as powerful as the main boss.
Kilona may look nice and harmless but there is much more evil to her than that.
She reminds me of a fairy, but one that has been dipped in acid. Dakota said that her magical power is writing in a diary that she can read words out of. These evil words become the truth. The village has been suffering with her laws, many more people suffer than people who are getting benefits from it. Now that I think about it, who will be the new ruler once it has been defeated?, Will it be a democracy or a monarchy? and how will Kilona be defeated?

Reply
08/17/2013 10:38pm

Hi Mylyn,

Excellent work! I loved the setup of your story and the dilemma your character is facing....I would also love to read more.

Happy writing
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Aschlea
08/07/2013 8:31am


Hi, my name is Kelly. I am 16 years old and from Paris, France. I am a fearless fashion guru and I love shopping. I have brown silky hair that shimmers in the sun, blue eyes that sparkle like the sea and small brown freckles (which are always covered by makeup). I am in Year 11 and my favourite subject is Art. Here is the story of how I arrived in this magical land.
I went to bed one night and woke up in a dark and mystical land with a boy and a girl named Xavier and Kioshi. About a minute after we arrived, a magical helper named Scarloni explained that there is an evil ruler that has imprisoned the town and has killed the royal family. The evil ruler is a werewolf who can transform anytime whether it is at day or night. He kills people in order to survive…

Reply
08/17/2013 10:42pm

Hi Aschlea,

Great to see you on the blog. I love the idea of being whisked to foreign lands and your story is a good example of that. I would love to have some dialogue included as well as some small details that describe where your characters are and who they are. These details really bring a story to life for your readers, who are going to love being in this world. I also love the name Xavier, which is one of my heroes from my novel, Grimsdon.
Happy writing,
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Deklan
08/07/2013 8:32am

Hi, my name is Zeona and I am an 18 year old boy. I live in the middle of the desert in Egypt. I am a tall, dark black haired guy and I believe that I am very friendly. My parents got taken away from me when I was only 9 and from then I have been living alone in Egypt.

My story starts when I was collecting herbs for my potions. A very strong sandstorm started up out of nowhere. I was struggling to find shelter when I was lifted up off the ground and thrown far away.

I woke up to see a dark forest surrounding me and to hear the sound of two other people talking very quietly close by. I felt a pain in my head and I made a small sound. As small as it was, the two people heard me and were at my side in seconds. They started to lift me up very slowly and my vision went back into focus. There was a boy and a girl. The boy had dark black hair and was tall…

Reply
08/17/2013 10:46pm

Hi Deklan,

Fantastic story! Of all that I have read, yours has such a unique tone.There were so many great aspects to your story but I would really love is if you could add details so it felt as if the reader was there too..eg the sandstorm...I was once trapped in a sandstorm in the Sahara desert for three hours and it was something! You need to being it to life so you reader can feel they are inside your story. Good luck.
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Connor
08/07/2013 8:34am

I am Xavier, and I am a 19 year old boy from an old village in New Zealand. I am not a shy or scared person, but I have a massive fear of spiders. I am as brave as a lion and will put my life on the line to help people in need. I live in a tribe in which my father is the leader. I was summoned to a village far away from New Zealand.

Whilst I was working in my father's workshop, I fell through an old trap door in the basement where we hide all the old weapons from the past.I met two great warriors from Paris and Japan, Kelly and Kioshi.

The wise owl was a guide who told us that our mission was to free the village from an evil ruler and his minions.

Reply
08/17/2013 10:48pm

Hi Connor,

Great to see you on the blog. Your character is really interesting and I was instantly excited to go on an adventure with him. I would love to have some dialogue included as well as some small details that describe where your characters are and who they are. These details really bring a story to life for your readers, who are going to love being in this world. I also love the name Xavier, which is one of my heroes from my novel, Grimsdon.
Happy writing,
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
Shona
08/10/2013 5:33am

Hi my name is Zendaya and you probably won’t believe me. I understand - but the story I’m about to tell you is true and it really did happen. I am 15 years old and I live in the centre of Surfers Paradise. My life is mostly normal - Chilling with friends, playing basketball on weekends, hanging with family and I look pretty normal too- brown hair, average height, acne and grease, you know, the normal teenage look. But when I said my life is mostly normal, I meant my parents own Paradise Resort, the most popular resort in Queensland.

This all happened when I was waiting for my turn on the water slide in the resort’s water park. It was finally my turn, when suddenly I heard a voice. I looked around but the only person I could see was Max and he had lost his voice. The voice told me to go down the water slide. I was nervous and had multiple shivers running down my spine but I was curious and listened to the voice’s request…

When I thought I would have reached the bottom of the slide, it just continued to carry me further and further away from home - taking me up and down and round and round until suddenly I was dumped on a pile of snow...

Reply
08/18/2013 12:50pm

Hi Shona.
Nice to see you on the blog. This is a great piece....I love that it begins in a very normal place but then something very, very unusual happens so that even the main character doesn't quite believe it. The slide into an unknown reality is great. Nice work!

Happy writing,
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

Reply
DrPorkChop859
08/10/2013 6:14am

LEVEL 1: A NEW WORLD

My name is Frank and I like adventure stories, what I’m about to tell you may seem hard to believe but this is how it goes. I was walking home from school when I caught a glimpse of a shiny object in a tree. I walked over to it to get a closer look. I’m not quite sure what it was but it was small and was quite light. Once I held it up in the air the sun reflected of it onto the tree and created a portal that I was sucked into.

Reply
DrPorkChop859
08/10/2013 6:43am

Continued - see above...

LEVEL 2: THE STRANGE PLACE

The portal pulled me to another place. I think it was another world, because, unlike Earth, it had streams and rivers of lava instead of water. It had people that look like pigmen because they had a human-like body and a pig-like head. All of the people had a name tag on their back that had unusual names like Digger and Spanners. Every living plant has a human-like feature, such as a mouth, legs, arms and some even had eyes...

Reply
DrPorkChop859
08/10/2013 6:48am

Continued - See above
LEVEL 3: THE BAND

Two of the people came up to me, one was wearing draped clothes and a crown, and one was wearing a suit and tie. The one in robes and a crown said to me,”Come with us and join us in the battle of truth against Lord Sceptre." "

"Why?” I said.
”"Because you’re the chosen one. I’m King Daper and we need you to take the ruby from Lord Sceptre. He is using it to create evil monsters that destroy everyone and every thing that does something good - and it's not right,” said King Daper.

I didn’t want to say my name, but I blurted it out, “My name is Frank.“

Why did I say that? They might attack my home...
Then my thoughts were interrupted, as King Daper faded away.

I had something a bit like a message come into my head. I saw the one wearing the suit and tie. He said,”My name is Sam,” then King Daper came into the image,”You are now part of the band. If you're wondering what the band is, it is a group of people each with a magical strength...

Reply
08/18/2013 12:50pm

Hi DrPorkChop859

Thank you for being part of the blog….I really enjoyed where this story was headed and hope you get the chance to write more. If you did have the chance to work on it further, it’d be great if you added more details. There were times when amazing action happens but it is only briefly described. You don’t want to slow your story down with descriptions but give us a little more so we can see your locations and know your characters a little better. Nice work!

Happy writing,
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

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Zac
08/10/2013 7:03am

My name is Bob and I’m a normal 15 year old boy. Well, I was a normal boy. One day, I was at the motor cross-park with my mate. I had my helmet and armour on. I don’t like my helmet and armour because it covers my good looks. I like riding my motor cross bike with my mates. I’m a happy boy, like all 15year boys playing Xbox, ps3 and iPod.

It all started when I was playing Xbox. All of a sudden, I heard a noise like the guy with a black helmet and red sword in Star Wara. It said to fall off the platform in my game I was playing, instead of finishing the lever. So I did what it said. Then it went black all around me.

The next thing I knew, I was in a land made out of blocks like in my game, Mario. There were lava, water, platforms, hills, ice, boxes and mushrooms. I walked around, finding more and more stuff.

There were two other people - one was a boy dressed like Lingui. The other one was a girl dressed like Pines Peach.

The boy spoke first, “Who are you and why are you dressed like Mario?” Then the girl spoke, “You are the one dressed like Lingui.” Then I spoke, “You’re the one dressed like Pines Peach.”

Then it just sounded a bit like this: “No - you are dressed like Lingui Greek”. “You’re the Greek”. “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” “No” “yes” …………
You get the idea.

All of a sudden, a trod told us that Boris was in power and he was evil - dadada. He also told us that we would each get a power and weapon. At that point, I couldn’t wait for my power…

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08/18/2013 12:51pm

Hey Zac,

Thanks for being part of the blog. I love how your story begins with a regular day but then quickly becomes something else. I love too how Bob takes it all in his stride and isn’t too freaked out by the whole thing and mostly wants his new power. Go Bob!

Happy writing,
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

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Shaun
08/15/2013 9:08pm

Hi my name is Shaun, and this is my story. I am a 16 year old boy who lives in Plumpton, a small suburb in Sydney, I’m socially awkward, I’m a bit of a lone… I am addicted to video games.

One day, while in my room, I was playing Call of Duty on my Playstation 3 when I started to hear a voice, calling my name and saying follow me. It was coming from my closet as I got closer, it felt like I was being pulled in…

I walked into my closet, it took me to a weird place, there were people running around shooting, I was … scared, shaking like crazy, I just wanted to know where I was.

I turned around and saw two other people. One was a girl, with long blonde hair, she was medium build, and next to her was a guy he had short black hair with a goatee, he looked like a body builder.

The girl was shocked, she couldn’t talk properly, she stuttered out “M… m… , my name is Kasey, where are we?”
I said, “Huh, this kind of looks like a game I play.”
A high pitched voice said, “So where are we?”
“I don’t know I was at home playing video games-“
“What is your name?” said Kasey still stuttering, “my name is Ryan hot cheeks.”

All of a sudden fog started to come out of nowhere, then there was a shadow in the fog it was getting closer, the closer it got the colder it got. Not knowing what it was I started to panic, Kasey was still shaking. I heard a squeak, I turned my head and looked at Ryan, he was standing there not moving a muscle, his skin was going pale, I started to laugh inside. Kasey then grabbed my arm and I quickly turned around and there it was... A tiny ice gnome standing in front of me, it bellowed, “Who here is in charge?” I looked around, Ryan was still not moving, and I knew Kasey wasn’t going to say anything. I looked back at it and replied, “I am.”
The ice gnome said, “You are here because these soldiers need your help. I have grabbed you three because you all have different backgrounds- Kasey you are intelligent, Ryan you have the muscles, and last of all, you Shaun, you have the skills that might help win this fight. When I put you all together the three of you will be unstoppable.”
“But why us, why didn’t you pick three other people with the same kind of skills as us?”
“You three are special very special indeed…”

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08/18/2013 12:54pm

Hi Shaun,

Great story! I loved the setup, the action and the pace. I read a lot of early draft stories that have left out dialogue altogether but you have used it very wisely....moving the plot forward and letting us know your characters better. Nice work!

Happy writing,
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

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Daniel
08/15/2013 9:15pm

Daniel is written on my birth certificate, but everyone calls me snakes. I am called snakes because I am into snakes and weapons- although you should never use a snake as a weapon. If I wasn’t called snakes I would be called cranky- reason being- I am always cranky. Being a 15 year old cranky kid who digs snakes and weapons doesn’t get you a lot of friends. Anyways , just now as I was chasing a Kimberly Rock Monitor along the rocks I entered a small dark cave. I dropped suddenly and found myself in a strange new world. All around me were bright multi coloured trees. Everything was covered in reptiles- snakes, lizards, turtles and crocodiles as far as I could see. It was like being in a dream. I stood as still as I could be but my heart was pounding through my chest. Suddenly, I noticed there were two others close by. A boy, who looked a bit older than myself was walking towards me carrying a large sports bag. Just behind him was a young girl who had strange patterns on her face. The young man looked at me and asked, “Why are we here?” before I could reply the young girl said,
“I can answer that, you have been summoned to kill our evil crocodile who is a lot smaller than you would expect. You both have been chosen because you can work together to defeat the evil Crocker by using your special understanding of crocodiles and your mastery of weapons.”
The other boy tried to shake my hand, “I’m Jake.”
I quickly pushed his hand away, “Lets just kill this thing and get out of here,” I snapped back. The girl said to Jake, “Why don’t you show snakes your weapons?” Jake unzipped his gym bag and showed me every weapon imaginable, “Hi, I’m snakes” I said, as I quickly shook his hand, “let’s get started!”

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08/30/2013 11:53pm

Hey Daniel.

I LOVE this piece...it is edgy, intriguing and the voice of your character is one of the strongest I have read on this blog....great work!
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

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Michael
08/15/2013 9:18pm

What up? You are about meet a tall, ravishing hero with a six pack of bullet proof abs. That’s me. My name is Harry D from the West Coast. I am athletic, sporty and the lead singer of a heavy metal band- chicks dig me.
As I was driving to a concert I suddenly became involved in a terrible car accident (not my fault, of course). My car caught on fire and as the paramedics pulled me from the car I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up I was in a strange new world.
The sky was clear and blue, not a cloud to be seen. I heard the sound of a horse approaching, the clonking got closer. Suddenly a large grey horse stopped in front of me. To my amazement I saw the most beautiful goddess of a woman I have ever seen. She had long, luscious black hair. Two deep, inviting almond eyes hovered above full and lusty lips. She wore a light summer dress- I had a feeling that we were going to get along…
“Hop on my horse, we don’t have much time!” she said.
After a short ride we were met by another beautiful girl. She had smooth blonde hair and gorgeous eyes. I found out that she was Rachel and the girl on the horse was Keira. As we were talking and as I was showing the girl’s my ripped, well defined muscles, a circular portal opened and a booming voice commanded us to enter. We walked through to find ourselves on top of a mountain. A queen-like woman sat on a throne surrounded by weapons.
“Harry, Rachel and Keira you have been chosen to go on a mystical quest. You must kill the malicious Persian God, Raphael. To do this you will need to work together. Harry, you will lead the band. You will find Raphael underground in a deep, dark cemetery. Remember, he has powers to raise the dead...”

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08/30/2013 11:55pm

Hey Michael,

Brilliant! I love the immediacy of this piece and the tone. Your character is intriguing and I love the setup for your story. I wish I knew more about the accident and aftermath. Great work.
from Deb
www.deborahabela.com

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Robert
08/15/2013 9:24pm

I am Robert B, 15 and from Mt Druitt, Sydney. I live a basic life; I enjoy riding bike jumps and working on anything with a motor. I have short brown hair, blue eyes and five feet tall. I seem to get along with most people; I think this is due to my funny sense of humour and easy going ways.
My story began a couple of weeks ago when I was riding with my bike gang called Hot Wheels. We travel through the bush like majestic steeds, the pedals spinning at lighting pace as we flow through the dirt tracks. Looking up we notice a drop ahead, going too fast we all braced knowing we were seconds away from falling…… POW, BOOM, CLONK and I’m out!
I wake up with the sense that someone is poking me. As I open my eyes I realise me and my 3 boys are surrounded by 20 little hairy, fat things called Tim Tams. I’m so confused; I stood up, staring at these weird creatures. They turned to talk to each other and I yelled ‘RUN!’ the three boys JP, Hayden, Daniel and I run, not knowing where we are going or what we are doing. All of a sudden a creature appeared with black coloured eyes filled with hatred of the world. It had two nasty horns, four legs and two hands, a strong black coat of hair and stood at a massive three metres high. The creature opened its mouth, a river of green and yellow spit spilled out, and then it hollered, “I am the creature of the dark. Have your men ready in 10 days or face excruciating pain and a slow, agonising death. Remember, I have no remorse!” The creature then ran off in to the misty, black forest.
I looked at JP, he turned pale and started to shake. Daniel was clenching his fists and grinding his teeth, while Hayden had a blank stare- his eyes were a cold blue, like he was staring at his own death. “Why does this beast want us?” asked Daniel.
Hayden said, “It might not be us, it might be the Tim Tams.”
“No guys, it is us. Maybe we have something he wants,” said JP.
Hayden said, “Well, if he wants something from us, then the only thing that he is going to get is the end of my sword!”
“Huddle up boys, we have to do this as a team. Everyone needs to be strong. Think of ourselves as a chain; each of you is a link, if one link breaks we all break. Now, who is with me?” Everyone nodded. Wherever we were, or whatever we were in, we were in this together. We sat down to plan our next move.

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08/30/2013 11:56pm

Hey Robert,

Fantastic. This is a gritty, fast-paced piece that had me in right from the beginning. Great work! Please keep writing.
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

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Deklan
08/18/2013 3:05am

This is my story continued

The boy also looked like he would never stop fighting until he droped, and the girl was kinda small but she looked like she had the courage of a lioness and she had red hair.''Hi my name is Martha and this is Harry what is your name''the girl said.''Hi my name is Zeona'' I said ''were are we''.Then all of a sudden a spirit jumped out of a bush and said ''You have all been teleported to this world call Zelonoa to serve a great porpose, to free us from Zonahay the giant sphinx''.Hardly beliving my eyes I said ''Who are you, and who is us''?''Great question, I am you, Zeona, and us is the people of Zelonoa, and Zelonoa is a very small planet unlike Earth''The spirit said.''You are him?''Martha managed to say.''Yes I am him'' The spirit of me said.''You are him?''Harry said tying to sound silly.''YES I AM ZEONA OK''the spirit of me shouted.''No need to wake up the dead''Harry and I said in sync.''I think we should make a camp just over there''Martha said.

Reply
08/30/2013 11:57pm

Yay Deklan,

Nice continued work....you have such an easy style which is great to read. Nice humour too,
From Deb
www.deborahabela.com

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